Tragic Hero

It's hard to believe that three years have passed since tragedy struck the Dallas music community. Last Friday marked that day three years ago that changed the lives of many of those close to Carter. I, being one of them. Alot has changed personally since then. Alot of what's changed I owe to the tragedy I experienced that day. While I'm grateful for the opportunity to become a stronger person it's hard not to catch my breathe and choke back tears looking at the kind of loss that goes with losing someone from your life.

I'm grateful for choosing to experience strength through it all. It's not an easy choice, as most of us know all to well. I am easily touched deeply by kindness (and alternately wounded immensely with the opposite). I was lucky enough to be touched with a tremendous amount of kindness by Carter through some very rough times in my life. For someone who used to find it hard to be vulnerable in the presence of others, and can still at times, I was challenged to allow myself to be vulnerable and experience a sense of security at the same time. That piece of what I got from Carter alone changed my life. I'm proud I allowed myself to embrace it and I cherish the internal strength I've adopted.

I'm grateful for Sparrow. I never dreamed that taking a trip down to Houston to look at a dud ex-racehorse would turn into a tireless pursuit of confronting fear and a daily basis. Sparrow has helped me branch out of a shell I easily return to when I'm not pushed forward by something that I am passionate about. I was lucky to find out that Sparrow was destined for a greatness that I wasn't prepared for. I'm constantly beside myself at what we have been able to accomplish. Last Friday, on the anniversary of Carter's death, Sparrow beat a class full of trainers to get a first place ribbon and Champion in his division. A bitter sweet victory.

I'm grateful for eye on the sparrow designs. I'm amazed at the response. I'm amazed at the creativity. I'm amazed at so many pieces of what this has offered me. It's created a lot of work. It's been work that has allowed me to develop a side of my personality that I haven't seen since I was a kid selling potholders to the neighbors. It allows me to combine an understanding of marketing (a somewhat undeveloped passion until now) with the ability to connect people to their own understanding of passion. Music has so much power in the lives of so many people. It's an honor to be a part of that process.

I'll always miss Carter. I was lucky enough to be impacted by an innocent kindness that I'll never know whether or not he was aware of how powerful his words were to me when I was hurting. That's an opportunity that few people get to receive. I'm also grateful for the opportunity to grieve daily.